To say that the last few days were terrible was an understatement. It was also a big challenge for Cindy to help Su not to lose it completely. Su was sick, or maybe she pretended to be sick that she could lay in bed all day to call Harry all over again. Every time Harry’s voicemail answered her she began to cry again. At some point she became completely hollow and the only reason why she called him was that she could listen to his voice when he spoke the message. 'Hey it's Harry. I'm probably not with my phone right now [laugh] so just leave a message’, Cindy knew the message inside and out because she heard it every day. Su claimed it would help her falling asleep. But that changed when she got an angry phone call from her dad, telling her how irresponsible her behaviour was. Being sick instead of practising. Listening to Su’s silent sobs while her dad yelled at her made Cindy angry. He didn’t care much about her feelings and that kinda hurt her more than she wanted to admit. That night Su walked into the bathroom and started a shower. After half an hour or so later she came out and smiled at Cindy.
“I’m out for practise, I love playing the piano. My dad’s right. I should prepare for the performance”, Su said.
“But Su, it’s almost 10 pm?”, Cindy answered confused.
“I know. Don’t wait for me. Good night”, and just like that she slipped out of the door.
Since then Su worked day and night, she threw herself into the music. Cindy didn’t know know if this was a good or a bad thing. She smiled a little bit more during the day, but Cindy was sure it wasn’t real. She was angry at Su for not letting her take care of her friend. She wanted Su to be honest with her, she’s broken and not talking about it won’t help anybody. And giving up trying to get a hold of Harry made Cindy angry too. Su wasn’t someone who just gave up. Well, maybe the old Su but not the new one. The old Su was a shy girl, quiet and a never swearing one as well. But that was because she never got a chance to be herself. Her life was planned out from her partens. She never did party or drank or smoked, she never had fun for herself. But with Harry she came out of her shell and was an openly and happy woman. And the second Harry left her she kinda turned back into someone who didn’t fight for what she wanted. Who said 'Yes, okay' to everything.
Harry would have pushed her away if he knew about The Purcell. He wouldn’t have given her a chance. He’d kicked her out of the youth house. Cindy was angry at Harry too. Harry should have called Su, letting her explain herself. After everything she did for him, he should knew Su didn’t want to hurt him. She would have never given her body to someone she didn’t love. Su told Cindy everything from their first night. It was damn special to her. And Harry taking her v-card and let her fall down like this was … how was that? You couldn’t survive. And someone who never had a boyfriend was doomed. Her first experience with a boy, her first love… she will never believe in love. Su was breaking, quiet and slowly. Cindy couldn’t watch her anymore. She would help her, but not alone.
“Harry’s not much better”, Niall continued after sipping on his coffee. “We didn’t have rehearsal since that day. Didn’t see him much either. He locked himself up at home, he’s pretty pissed. I mean this was our chance, it’s not Su’s fault. It was a fucking power failure. Fuck that, but not telling Harry the truth was just the cherry on top, you know.”
“Of course I do know Niall, but shutting her out won’t make things better. They need to talk with each other. She’s so in love with him, you can’t imagine”, Cindy tried to persuade him.
“Okay, I’ll help. I actually want them back together as well not just for the band but for their actually sake”, Niall ran through his hair.
“Okay!”, Cindy answered immediately before he changed his mind.
“Maybe we can, you know after that, go out or something?”, Niall blushed helplessly.
“Like a date?”, Cindy grinned widely.
“Yeah, I mean-”, Cindy cut him off, she couldn’t watch him stuggle.
“I’d love to go on a date with you”, she bit her lip but didn’t forget the mission. “So I have the plan-“
"Of course you do", Niall smiled.
“Wow”, Cindy mouthed behind Su.
Su looked at herself in the mirror. This was too much, she thought. It’s more like a fucking school contest not a award show.
“He can’t say no”, Cindy whispered to herself, still perplexed from the sight in front of her.
“What?”, Su asked.
“What? Nothing… I, uh, I’m speechless”, Cindy smiled at her. “Look at you”, she took the necklace from the night table and put it around Su like a proud mother. “You changed a lot. You look like a grown woman in that dress.” Cindy stopped, putting her hands on Su’s shoulders. “You are beautiful babe.”
Su was really sad that Harry wasn’t next to her telling her how beautiful she looked in that dress, but she smiled ingeniously back at Cindy still.
“It would be a shame if I wouldn’t rock that dress. It’s fucking expensive”, Su joked.
“Oh damn girl I missed you”, Cindy threw her arms around Su. “I don’t like pouty Su.”
“I won’t be anymore. I worked so hard for this. I won’t cry over a boy. Never. He showed no interest in me… he made it clear and that’s okay because music is more important to me. I’m moving back though. We never had a chance.”
Cindy saw how Su pushed her emotions away.
“Harry liked you a lot, he just… he’s confused. He’s hurt. He doesn’t know how to handle your situation. You’re his first real girlfriend too”, Cindy explained desperately.
Su wanted to yell at her that being boyfriend and girlfriend is the point. It was their choice to be together and it’s never easy. Nobody was perfect, they could talk about it. That’s what couples do, not just leaving when it gets complicated. But she wondered more where Cindy got the information from or if she was lying just to make her feel better. But she shouldn’t care, what’s done is done.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Su glanced shortly at Cindy before she opened the door.
“Are you coming?”
Cindy pressed her lips together before walking towards her.
The hall was pretty packed half an hour before the first performance took place. Cindy opened the red curtains a little bit and saw Niall sitting in the last seat row. She showed him her thump to make clear that she was ready. Game on.
“Su”, Cindy ran towards her and took her wrist. “I need to tell you something. Alone.”
She shoved Su, who was confused as hell, into a room.
“What? What do you want to tell me?”
“Don’t hate me”, Cindy answered. “Please”, before she closed the door right into Su’s face.
Su tried to open the door, but it was locked.
“Cindy what the hell?”
Silence. The door didn’t open.
“Now I know why Niall wanted so desperately to come.”
That voice. That familiar slowly talking. There was no way Cindy did this to her, she wouldn’t dare. Su panicked, she couldn’t see him. She didn’t want to. Everything she bottled up the last days were about to come out, she didn’t want it. He wasn’t worth the pain.
“Cindy let me out, I swear”, Su hammered against the door. “Please”, she almost begged.
“Remember? Round two. The last time it worked wonderfully”, Cindy said through the door.
Su remembered it. It was a time when their relationship wasn’t complicated. They were friends or they were about to make friends with each other. She wanted Harry to talk to her. It was the first time he told her she shouldn’t bite her lip. He would kiss her if she does it again. She felt her teeth digging into her lip. But today, she didn’t want to talk to him. She didn’t want to be in a room with him. She couldn’t.
Su leaned her forehead on the door. She wasn’t able to breath. She wouldn’t dare to look at Harry. She couldn’t turn around. Harry noticed that something was wrong with her. She was shaking.
“Su”, Harry said quietly.
He wanted it to sound like ‘Su I’m worried’ but it sounded more like ‘Su don’t overact’. He wanted to correct himself but Su spoke before he could.
“I called you, you know. I called you a lot”, with her face still to the door. “Then after a while I knew you wouldn’t pick up, I just listened to your voicemail. Pathetic me.”
Harry didn’t know what to say. He just stood there. He could just grab her and kiss her. But he knew he fucked up when he didn’t pick up. Or called her back.
“Now I’m locked in here with a person who hates me and I miss my chance to get the grand.”
He felt bad, he really did. But she was the one who were lying to him. He wanted so badly to tell her that he didn’t hate her and that he missed her instead. But hearing her talking about the stupid grand made him furious.
“You don’t want the grand damn it”, he began. “Your father wants it. He’s pushing you, don’t you see?”
“Shut up”, Su yelled suddenly. “You don’t know what I want! You don’t know me.”
Her little outburst let Harry forget all the good manners.
“You are right. Because you were lying to me. I didn’t have a real chance to get to know you.” He turned around and hammered against the door he walked through. “Niall open that fucking door before I lose it”, he threatened.
They were both hurt and stubborn as hell. Su tried to breath normal again but it was impossible with Harry in the same room.
“What is going on here?”, Su heard a voice. “Who is in there? Hello?”
It was Mrs. Miller. Su never thought that day would come where she was happy to hear that annoying voice.
“Su, it’s Su”, she pleaded almost breaking down.
Mrs. Miller opened the door and Su stumbled out, storming off to the bathroom. Harry ran out, leaving a confused Mrs. Miller behind him when he crashed into Niall.
“You fucking idiot!”, he shoved Niall out of his way.
“Mate! I was just trying to help, clearly you two won’t get it done.”
“Niall, it’s not your fucking business. Back off!”, he yelled but came down when he saw Niall’s shocked face. “Please stay out of it. I have to go back to my dad.”
Niall watched him go. Cindy came around the corner, looking for Niall. When their eyes met, they both shared the same sad look.
“Hopefully your plan B is smashing it”, Niall whispered.
“I hope too”, Cindy smiled lightly at him.
Su dried her face and looked at herself again. She saw the same shy girl when she arrived here at the beginning of summer. Who is she? Who does she want to be? And what wanted the others her to be like? Did she love classic music over pop and rock music? Her thoughts were interrupted when Harry burst through the door.
“Harry”, Su shrieked. “It’s the ladies room.”
“I know”, he said trying to catch his breath. “I just wanted… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you. I kinda lost it in there. Just… good luck, okay?”, Su nodded speechless.
“And-, and you look nice”, he stuttered.
“Thanks”, Su answered with a blush on her cheeks.
They stood there in silence before Harry nodded and turned around. Leaving as fast as he came in.
Su couldn’t believe she lost someone like Harry. Of course it was awful not to tell him that she went to The Purcell. But she was scared. She wanted so badly to be in this band, she didn’t plan to fall in love with him. She was caught up in the moment every time he kissed her on the lips. She felt like she was in heaven. Every touch put her skin on fire and every nice word he said to her was burned into her brain. She never thought about boys like, like that they could make her happy. Harry made her feel things she has never felt before. And it was still there. She wanted to tell him but every time they saw she got carried away and was afraid things would change if he knew. But now, today he was angry and yelled at her but he came to apologize.
That’s the Harry she knew, that’s the Harry she fell in love with.